i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
