I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
