A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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