The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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