I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
