dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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