I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
