I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
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there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
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And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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