My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
