I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
