Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
