my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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