Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
