I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
