it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
