These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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