ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
