Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
