I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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