she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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