no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
