so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
