he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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