Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
