i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
