I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
