"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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