Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
