So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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