yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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