barbara walters just said penis...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
