Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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