I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
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You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
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He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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