could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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