its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
