I wish I only lived at night.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
