i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize