fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
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Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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