Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
