white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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