Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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