i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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