I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
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I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
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Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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