HIV tests are more positive than that guy
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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