i just wanna soil my oats bro
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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