He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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