I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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