She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize