youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
