mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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