Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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