Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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