I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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