im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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