it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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