what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
