hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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