my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
